This afternoon I am heading to up north where blogging, posting and accessing Facebook is limited to the direction and speed of the wind at any given moment and how many trees and hills are blocking the magical signals that sends technology where it needs to go. And since Sunday is Easter, this will be my final Lenten post (though I will be journaling all weekend).
Forty days ago I felt the whisper of God encouraging me to let go of one of my most coveted possessions, time. Instead of forgoing M & M’s, my extra hot dirty chai or my Chobani yogurt I was being called to trust God with my time and to journal daily over Lent. Little did I know that when I decided to do that I would enter into this crazy faith rollercoaster ride that began almost now four weeks ago. (For those of you who have asked, I am not getting a divorce or leaving the church or quitting my job. Out of respect for my family I am not able to share what this faith crisis has been about but hopefully I will be able to soon). But as God often does when He calls us to trust Him, journaling for 40 days was not a chore or a sacrifice or even very hard most days. In fact journaling for the past month in particular has been what has kept me sane (and has kept my family from selling me).
I blog because God teaches me things every day and don’t want to forget those lessons. I blog because I pray that someone reading my post will be reminded that God loves them. I blog because I hope that someone will be encouraged, challenged or assured in their faith when reading about my struggles and victories. I blog because I hope that God will use what He is teaching me to remind someone else that which they already know, but needed to read and be reminded of right in that moment. This past month I thought I was supposed to blog out of obedience and trust. I thought God’s assignment was one thing when in fact it ended up being something altogether different. And in the end, God’s assignment was not an assignment at all. It was His gift of mercy and love to me.