There are days we all just get tired. If you are someone who works or volunteers in ministry, you are no exception. I don’t want to whine, but I’m going to because today is one of those days. I’m tired of work and writing papers and I’m really tired of blogging about all my junk. I wonder who really cares about what God is teaching me in the first place and I grow weary of sharing my “humanness.” I grow tired of writing about the places I struggle, fall short and argue with God. I tire of wondering if it really matters that I share my faith with others because most days, I’d really like to just live my life. I’d like to go on about my business and do my messy faith privately. I sometimes grow tired of wondering why I do what I do and today is one of those days. I want to check out. “I’m punching out, Jesus. If you need me I’ll be on Facebook, then eating popcorn on the couch followed up by taking in some mindless (and possibly borderline inappropriate) television. And I hope you don’t “need me” for a while because I may pretend I can’t hear you. I’m tired of being good, tired of admitting to everyone what a heathen I am and tired of being obedient.”
“Dear God, Please don’t strike me with lightening. I understand that my sassy honesty may merit that, but you know this is really how I feel today. We all just get tired but You already know that; You lived and did ministry here. I know you don’t “need me” for anything, but that you have blessed me abundantly with the privilege of serving you because you love me. I know that putting blinders and earplugs on when I’m tired and don’t want to hear and/or obey You, will never result in the abundant life you came to give us (John 10:10). Thank you for the privilege of being a servant in your kingdom, but help me persevere in it on days like today when I just want to go shopping, eat things that are bad for me and take a nap. Please help me to fight the good fight, finish the race and keep the faith (2 Tim. 4:7). Thanks for listening to me whine and not condemning me. Thank you for giving me the space to be honest but more importantly, thank you for reminding me that you are always worth my energy, my humility and my perseverance. I am NOT going on break after all (but I am grabbing another cup of coffee). In Your Name, Amen.”