There is a question I ask many, many times in life: “Why?” During one of my many episodes of road rage or “running late for church rage” I have questioned over and over why I have such anger issues. When my friend’s husband lost a good friend to cancer last week or I heard another story of a five year old losing their battle to a brain tumor…Why? I guess there isn’t anything wrong with asking God why when things happen or don’t happen but this week a light bulb went off in my little Irish Asian brain and it has been life changing.
What I realized this week is that there will always be Why’s. There will also be children who get hurt, good guys that lose and bad guys that win and I may never be able to put that Jesus fish on my car because of the way I drive. As long as there is sin in the world, there will always be opportunities to ask why. So when the Holy Spirit whispered this into my head this week I decided that “why” is a stupid question that I will not be asking anymore. I have replaced “why” with a much better question: “what now?” Instead of asking why that 5 year old lost her battle to cancer I want to know what. What is my response? What am I going to do about my life, my parenting, how I prioritize time with my own children instead of making sure my toilets shine? Instead of asking why my friend’s husband died at age forty, I have asked “what now?” Quit nit picking everything my husband does wrong (really important things like why his one white sock was in with the darks) and treat him like a gift I love and treasure. Instead of asking why I have rage issues I need to ask what now? TODAY Lord, how can I look more like you and react in love instead of anger?
“Lord, thank you for a light bulb moment. Thank you for the way you speak into our hearts and minds when we desire to hear from you. Thank you for showing me how detrimental “why” has been to my relationship with you and my faith. Thank you for helping me to be transformed by the renewing of my mind (Romans 12:2). What a powerful new way of thinking you have blessed me with. Thank you that asking “What Now” is an opportunity and act in love in a way that honors You. Amen.”