Monday night I was laying in bed feeling very unsettled. Another act of senseless violence in Boston
When I was a kid I remember feeling vulnerable when we would do tornado drills or talk about nuclear wars, but on 9/11 I experienced vulnerability for the first time as a parent. I remember regretting in some ways bringing my kids into this world after 9/11. I remember wondering where we would ever be safe and what this world had become. Twelve years later we have lived through Sandy Hook , the tsunami in Japan Colorado Boston
Although I hate that vulnerability fills me with fear, robs me of joy and creates doubt in me about God and who He is, there is one upside to feeling vulnerable. When I feel most vulnerable, I read my Bible. And I read it not because I have to or because I think I should, but I read it like my life depended on it. I remember after 9/11 finding a verse that helped replace my feelings of vulnerability with that of security. It began to replace my fear with hope and my trepidation with confidence. It is a verse that settles me down, reminds me Who it is I serve and gives me peace when everything around me looks like chaos. “Have no fear of sudden disaster or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked, for the Lord will be at your side and will keep your foot from being snared” (Proverbs 3:25 -26). I memorized that verse on 9/11/01 and it has been a gift to me ever since.
“Lord, thank you for your Word and the hope contained in it. I pray Lord that you would bless these families who lost loved ones on Monday. Help them lean into You during this horrible time and comfort them in the unexplainable way that only You can. Thank you that you keep moving me along a continuum that moves me away from feeling vulnerable toward the place where I have your peace and hope. Thank you for the peace you afford me as a mom and wife in this messed up world. Thank you that I do not have to feel vulnerable when your Word assures me You are by my side and help me to continue to relearn and trust in that each day. Amen.”