Today on Facebook I saw lots of pictures of my friend’s kids heading off to the first day of school yesterday. So cute. The further down I scrolled the more children I saw with great outfits, stylish hairdos, clean backpacks and new shoes. After I “liked” about 5 pictures I realized I hadn’t posted the pictures I had taken of my kids last week.., I probably should have. It didn’t even cross my mind. Subconsciously I began to feel like a bad mom for failing to post the pictures I took (please notice that I DID take the pictures, I just didn’t post them). Just when I thought I had already graduated from middle school and comparing myself to my friends..,
I am obsessed with being a good mom. Looking like a good mom, acting and being a good mom and most importantly, ensuring that I treat my children in a way that helps them grow up to be godly, respectful and successful Christian men and women. However what God has been teaching me lately is that although that is not a bad thing, I do not give even a tenth of that attention to my marriage. I learned once that I should be sure I listen to all the minutia of my children’s lives so that when the important things happen they will know I will listen and care. My husband and I are so busy with our children’s sports, education and happiness we have been realizing we hardly even talk during the week. One of my goals for the school year is to only encourage the kids before school and not criticize them.., most mornings either in my head or out loud all I do is find ways my husband falls short. I read that children need us to look them in the eyes when they are talking to us so they know we are listening and care about them and what they have to say. Generally when my husband is talking to me my head is stuck in the dryer, washing machine or dishwasher and I may or may not even be acknowledging that he’s speaking to me. I have beat myself up all day about the way I spoke to or treated my kids before we left the house but when my husband and I have a disagreement, I look only for how I was hurt, slighted or treated unfairly by him. Looking like a good mom on Facebook and in life should begin with the effort I am putting forth in my relationship with my Father and with my kids’ father. The great thing about that is if I can get that straight I will be giving my children the best mother they need. “Lord, thank you that you continue to teach me new and hard lessons about life (whether I want to learn them or not). Thank you that you want me to keep my priorities in line with yours as I raise my children. Help me to be nicer, more grace filled and more thoughtful to my husband than I am to my best friend, complete strangers and even my sweet babies (and I will need your help – after 20 years of bad habits in marriage, You know this will not come naturally or easily for me). Thank you that in doing so I am honoring you, blessing my husband and raising my children to see a God honoring marriage and family. Amen.”