My ascent out of the “pit” has been slow, ardous and educational. My crisis of belief, as is the case whenever I experience doubt, has allowed my faith to grow deeper, my time in the Bible to be more meaningful and my prayers to be more honest. Climbing out of a pit however is not done in one jump. It has been over a week since my journey to the pit began and it has been a slow climbing out.
What got me out of the pit was exactly what put me in the pit in the first place – faith. It was doubting my faith that led to my descent and it was learning more about what faith really is that pulled me out. When my faith was waning it was because work was stressful, life was disappointing and too many decisions had to be made. But when I chose to read Psalm 63 over and over last week when I least felt like being immersed in God’s Word my faith was being made richer and stronger. Reading and choosing to believe (though I didn’t “feel” it) that His love is better than life, that God is my help and that His right hand would uphold me is what helped me out of the pit. It is impossible to read over and over “You, God, are my God, earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you,” and continue sitting in the dark, crying in the fetal position wishing that my crisis of faith would end. So climbing out of the pit involves choosing to believe the truths about God but it also means earnestly seeking Him (three minutes in the Bible does not constitute “earnestly” seeking Him and my crisis of faith was evidence of that). I cannot climb out of the pit of doubt without the right tools and how thankful I was for His Words to use as a rope, a pick and a flashlight in the darkness. “Lord, help me to earnestly seek you today. Help me to choose to believe your truths the next time I am in the pit. Thank you that in earnestly seeking you I am better equipped to know your Word and get out of the pit faster and perhaps not even fall as far next time. Amen.”